Brain Tug of War (going like 6 ways)

Well, one of the first things I do in almost all of my blog updates is explain the title. So the explanation of this title is that I was thinking about all the things that I am constantly trying to juggle in my head and visualizing it, it switched from juggling to a big game of tug of war. So I gotta put it all out there and regain equilibrium.

First and currently most pressing on the sheet is Opening Days, I'm super stoked to be a leader and to meet my group but I feel like sitting through meetings for most of the day is pretty exhausting for everyone including me. I just want everything to be perfect, I want to be a better leader than I was a student. I want to get OD started already, I think part of what is killing me is that we are spending just as much time training as we do with the kids and a lot of it is stuff that I feel like I've got from Link Crew, or being a Zoo Teen Leader, or FBLA workshops, or any of the host of other things that I have done this same sort of training with. Oh well, 2 days until the kids get here, although technically they are already here because they are the jump start colloquium so they are off somewhere in the woods learning about the water planet.

Next would definitely be Rainbow. I finally got my plans approved (by e-mail of all things) and so now I want to hit the ground running but the minute I think that and my mom and I try to act on it, there are all sorts of things to put on the breaks. I can't order my mascots yet, I can't start purchasing the gift stuff, I can't do anything on Alena's quilt, I pretty much feel like I waited so long for this approval and even with it I'm still waiting. I am probably the person who hates the "hurry up and wait" action more than anyone else.

Third and almost as annoying as the previous one would definitely be school not because its trouble some or because I can't handle the work (it hasn't started yet), I'm frustrated because I am waitlisted for two classes and I simply cannot handle not knowing which classes I will be taking, it stresses me out too much.

Then just throw in all the other things like talking to Kyle all the time and really wanting him to be happy, and wanting to make friends because in large groups I'm socially awkward and sometimes really shy. Stressing about the fact that I am completely unpacked and I'm actually feeling settled in so I'm worried about having to completely re-arrange stuff when and if we get the beds bunked and stuff.